Wednesday, 22 December 2010

Vandal Raptor

If you thought music dinosaurs meant receding hairlines and 20 minute drum solos then think again because lurking in the undergrowth is a Punk Rock Dino

Encased in a leather jacket as tough as his scaly hide is a prehistoric monster with fire in his reptilian eyes with a burning desire not just for cold meat but also 3 chords played with sharp, razor claws

This is VANDAL RAPTOR who tore up his Latin name in favour of Punk Rock fame.  Spitting since he was an egg other predators aren’t even a factor they’re glad to avoid his sharp teeth, sharp studs and blunt language ‘cos VANDAL RAPTOR is a Jurassic savage

Did you know it was all the talk a few years back when an archaeologist shifted the earth and uncovered a skeleton with a bright, green Mohawk?

The VANDAL RAPTOR was mostly found drinking cheap cider by the side of volcanoes, usually singing along to the hide anthem:  Anarchy in the Cretaceous Period.

The only problem with dinosaurs and music is their tiny forearms make gelling up hair something of a trail.

VANDAL RAPTOR put a safety pin through his tail and started a band called The Tar Pits and would have got radio play if the mainstream radio shows had accepted his angry anthems.  And if radios had existed 65 million years ago.

You think the Damned released the first Punk Rock single?  Nah mate, VANDAL RAPTOR had a hit with Brontosaurus Blitz, and if cartoons were accurate then he’d be chewing on Fred Flintstone’s ribs.

Just like the Exploited sang Punk’s Not Dead, the Dino-Punks will stand up tall and proud and sing Dino-Punk Will Never Become Extinct

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