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WHATEVER HAPPENED TO VANDAL RAPTOR? UK tour
TESTT (Durham): April 12th
The New Adelphi (Hull): April 15th
Workshop Theatre (Leeds): April 17th
Hydra Bookshop (Bristol): April 18th
Derby Theatre: April 20th
Harrogate Theatre: April 24-25th
Ovalhouse (London): April 26-28th
NERD PUNK BOOK TOUR
London Book Launch at Ovalhouse, April 26th
York Book Launch at All Saints Church, April 29th
Small Fry DIY, Warrington, 2nd May
Spoken Weird, Halifax: 3rd May
Born Lippy, Newcastle 9th May
Shaken In Sheep Town, Skipton: 10th May
Find The Right Words, Leicester : 16th May
Queenie’s Coffee Nights, Huddersfield: 21st May
Gong Fu Poets, Coxhoe: 31st May
Verse Matters, Sheffield: 7th June
Slam Dunk, Hastings: 28th June
Word Club, Leeds: 29th June
Poetry Jam, Durham: 4th October
Tuesday, 6 June 2017
The Shy Tory Factor
In the echoy community centre, like blue meerkats, they checked no one was watching.
That afternoon they kicked a homeless man, but they didn't make eye contact whilst they did so.
The Shy Tories marched into the school, and stole the children's meals.
Peas and carrots cascaded across the floor, as the children clutched their spectre-thin stomachs.
But the Shy Tories had needed take a deep breath beforehand, to steady their nerves.
The Shy Tories jeered at a woman in a wheelchair, quoting invented facts.
But it was a woman they already knew, because the Shy Tories found it difficult to meet new people.
The Shy Tories ended their evening by Privatising the NHS.
Shy Tories find it uncomfortable to leave the house, so sold it off from the security of their own mansions.
"Are you coming out to be Strong & Stable?" guffawed the Proper Tories, who strode along the streets with great big steel scissors used for cutting up the public sector.
"No" the Shy Tories muttered before having a little cry, for their scissors were very small.
The Shy Tories peeked their heads out of the Polling Booth
And condemned both the old and the youth.