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WHATEVER HAPPENED TO VANDAL RAPTOR? UK tour
Supporting Jollyboat, Knaresborough: 22nd June
Brig-Aid Fundraiser, Fruit, Hull: 23rd June
Slam Dunk, Hastings: 28th June
Word Club, Leeds: 29th June
Verse Matters, Sheffield, 5th July
Say Owt @ Deer Shed Festival, 21st July
Say Owt @ Great Yorkshire Fringe, York: 25th July
Working Title, Lancaster, 26th July
Nerd Punk, Edinburgh fringe @Banshee Labyrinth 19.50 13th August
Poetry Jam, Durham: 4th October
Tuesday, 6 June 2017
The Shy Tory Factor
In the echoy community centre, like blue meerkats, they checked no one was watching.
That afternoon they kicked a homeless man, but they didn't make eye contact whilst they did so.
The Shy Tories marched into the school, and stole the children's meals.
Peas and carrots cascaded across the floor, as the children clutched their spectre-thin stomachs.
But the Shy Tories had needed take a deep breath beforehand, to steady their nerves.
The Shy Tories jeered at a woman in a wheelchair, quoting invented facts.
But it was a woman they already knew, because the Shy Tories found it difficult to meet new people.
The Shy Tories ended their evening by Privatising the NHS.
Shy Tories find it uncomfortable to leave the house, so sold it off from the security of their own mansions.
"Are you coming out to be Strong & Stable?" guffawed the Proper Tories, who strode along the streets with great big steel scissors used for cutting up the public sector.
"No" the Shy Tories muttered before having a little cry, for their scissors were very small.
The Shy Tories peeked their heads out of the Polling Booth
And condemned both the old and the youth.